Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
