You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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