it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize