laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
