This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
