What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
