i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
