I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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