I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
