Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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