Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Randomize
