you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize