oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
