And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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