if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's blow job season.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
