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I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
