Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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