Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize