Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize