So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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