I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
