wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
