o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
this will be a night to untag.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
