i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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