what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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