I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
