Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
