This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
