awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
