Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
