I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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