Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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