That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
