Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
