Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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