I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
