thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
