Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize