SEEEEXXX PLEASE
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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