is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize