im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
