the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
