chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
