I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
