I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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