i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
