when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
