I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
