Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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