We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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