two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Randomize
