Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize