Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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