so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
