I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
