ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
