he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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