What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
