and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
