dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
