Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Randomize
