is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
