hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
