just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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