dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
