Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Randomize
Follow @tfln